My life theory: the mountain hike
There are countless terms used to describe the various stages of life: the "mid-life crisis", "the sandwich generation", "emerging adulthood" and so on. While each term has its own definition, trying to navigate them all and prepare for each stage separately often feels overwhelming and impractical. We hear phrases like, "Your 20s are the most fun," "Your 30s are about independence," and "Life truly begins at 40." While these messages are meant to guide us, they often end up confusing us even more, making it hard to understand how to prepare for what's next.
Personally, I've never fully embraced the idea of simply "enjoying the moment." In fact, I've always approached it with a bit of skepticism. Life components—fun, challenges, growth—are not equally distributed across the years, so treating each stage with the same mindset doesn't seem either practical or responsible.
Now, at the age of 31, I've developed an analogy that resonates with me, one that helps me make sense of it all. It's a concept I call the "Mountain Hike Theory." Just like hiking a mountain, life has its uphill climbs, its slopes, and its peak moment—and each stage has its purpose. This analogy has helped me see the bigger picture, approach life's stages more thoughtfully, and plan with more clarity.
I'd love to share this theory with you, as it's been incredibly insightful for me. So, let's start the hike!
The Starting Point: How We Arrive Matters (Or Does It?)
When we start the hike, we are usually taken there by our friends, parents, or public transportation. I see the early stages of our lives the same way - we are growing up with decisions that either we don't have the capacity to comprehend or aren't given the chance to make. Most of the circumstances that shape us within this stage are the results of family, society, and government primarily. Do conditions matter at this stage - or in hiking terms, does it matter if we have arrived at the hiking destination in a posh luxury car, or in a crowded public bus? Does it matter if we have the most expensive hiking shoes and gear? Well, obviously, these factors affect the hiking quality, but as we will see, they are not the deciding factors affecting the pleasure and wisdom we can squeeze out from our hiking journey.
Fun Climb!
Finally, free! You left behind your family, schoolmates who took you to the hiking area, and start to explore the area you have never traveled but have heard good stuff about. Of course, not full freedom since you've already been given a hiking track to achieve the final destination—like the way society "teaches" what to study, where to work to live a "worthy" life. But you know what, fuck it, you're finally free now, so why should it even matter what others say? Even if the track you choose might not be the shortest way to the final destination, does it even matter? Is the purpose of hiking to reach destination A fast, or to enjoy the views on the way?
This is when we start to date, this is when we drop out of school and learn new things freely from the internet, this is when we spend our money to see more countries, to meet more people rather than save for mortgages and expensive cars. Sure, some of these decisions might look questionable in retrospect, and not all detours lead to better views. But this is the "Fun Climb"—messy, imperfect, and absolutely necessary.
Mid-Journey: Things on the Peak
This is an exciting part to write about since I'm slowly entering this stage—my thoughts here are more projections than experience. Despite not being a big fan of the phrase, I think this is the time to finally "enjoy the moment" for two reasons: you're literally at the peak with the most scenic views. In life, this means looking back at all the brave things we did in our 20s while exploring freedom and learning about ourselves. With all this knowledge and experience, you might feel more prepared for what's ahead—though nothing guarantees the path will be clearer.
The second reason is that climbing for so long with half the journey still ahead can drain your energy—so instead of adding psychological burden by worrying about things beyond our control, we should focus on the beauty around us. Similarly, societal pressures about family and status-driven career goals can pull us away from the bold decisions we made in our younger years. I believe that with a realistic "enjoy the moment" mindset, the so-called "mid-life crisis" might be more manageable—though it probably can't be avoided entirely. And remember—although half the hiking is still ahead, it's gonna be a slope. Whether that's easier or just different remains to be seen.
The Rest of the Trail
That's where I'll wrap up for now, since the next stages are beyond even my projections—and honestly, I'm not sure this theory will hold up to the reality of what's coming. I'll revisit this in 10-15 years to see how wrong I was about most of it.
But for now, this framework gives me something to work with. Maybe that's enough.